Currently Reading Don't Be Afraid, Gringo: A Honduran Woman Speaks From The Heart : The Story of Elvia Alvarado By Medea Benjamin see related

Hey there everyone...it's been awhile. I'm still getting used to being in a first world country, so bear with me, I'm just amazed to be using technology so easily now! I've spent the past month in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, and I'm definitely glad to be back. It almost seems like that whole adventure was just a dream now, because I'm getting back into my old routines. But there are many things I've learned and that I'll never forget about my traveling experience.

Above all, though, I came back from Honduras not with cold hard facts, but questions about the nature of the world in which we live. (Leave it to me to make a pseudo-vacation into a philosophical quest). Before I left, I felt it was only right to experience the kind of life that the majority of the world's population lives. I also felt that it was my "duty" or something of the sort live in these conditions in the future. I thought it was best to ignore the materialist society of the global North and focus on solving the problems of the global South.

Now I realize that living among these people doesn't automatically mean you can change their situation. Also, it's impossible to focus on poorer nations without seeing the inexorable connections they have with the industrialized world. Most importantly, I have found that no changes will be made in the global South unless policies change in countries like the United States. As much as I might want to, I can't turn my back on globalization or the Western world. And honestly, I don't want to deny my culture anymore. Yes, I admit it--there are some good things that come from globalization and from American culture. I appreciate living in an industrialized country more than I ever thought I would.

It may sound like I have everything figured out, but my question is this: will the global North ever change its policies to help close the gap between the rich and poor countries? Will we as a nation, a society, a people sacrifice some of our luxurious amenities to raise the standard of living for others?

I met people in Honduras who live in abject poverty and consider it the "normal" way to live. Girls who give birth to their first child at 14 and expect to have at least five more children in their lifetime, most likely without a husband's support. Teens who don't know how to read, who live in one-room shacks with no running water. And it broke my heart, and made me feel guilty for complaining about my living conditions. The only way for me to overcome this guilt is to do something. Change something. Ensure that my life positively affects others' lives, that I make my life goal to answer my previous questions with a resounding "yes".

This is some heavy, melodramatic shit, so I apologize if anyone was looking for "light" summer reading!

Currently Watching Life And Debt see related

I can't believe it's been so long since I updated this thing! I've been away though, so I have an excuse. I got back from the UK yesterday, although I was supposed to get home the day before. Unfortunately, our flight to Detroit got cancelled, so my sister and I were stuck in DC (that's where we flew from London to) for the night. And as luck would have it, Regan's funeral was that night, so every single hotel was completely booked in the DC area. We ended up paying $200 for one night in a Day's Inn in Manassas. Can you believe it? Should've stayed another day in London...

The UK was absolutely amazing. We went to London, Bath, St. David's (a tiny village in Wales), Dublin, Belfast, Edinburgh (capital of Scotland) and Inverness (in Scotland, where the Loch Ness monster lives). All in all, it was quite possibly the best trip I've ever been on. Well, it at least rivals with spring break in Honduras!

We stayed in hostels and backpacked around, so it was a very different kind of holiday than I'm used to. I like the "rugged" adventures a lot more than staying in nice hotels, though. I would trade a room full of crazy European kids for a hot shower and free shampoo any day! There's so much that happened in the last two weeks, I can't even began to write it all. If any of you are really that interested, email me or give me a call. Although the calling thing won't work as of next Wednesday, because that's when I leave for Honduras. I'll be there a month, and I'm extremely excited. This summer rocks my socks.

If this entry seems a little boring, it's because I don't really have time or care to rehash my summer thus far. It's been incredible as of today, and I know it'll only get better. I send my regards to all of you who are stuck in boring towns with boring jobs. I'll be joining y'all in boredom after Honduras, that's for sure. The only thing in Midland that I enjoy is the coffee shop where I work, and of course my friends here. But I can't believe that I lasted 18 years here without going completely insane. (I say completely because I'm sure this town screwed with my mind a bit).

I miss all of you from DC, and I miss the city too. I really wanted to just stay there when we were stuck there the other night! But Midland is where I'm stuck right now, at least for the next few days. Hahaha, at least I can get out!! Hope everyone's summer is going well. Cheers!

Currently Playing Second Stage Turbine Blade By Coheed & Cambria see related

- Everything Evil

Done with my first year of college! I can't even believe it. I look back on the past 8 months and I can't believe how much I've changed. I entered college a little scared, a little anxious, and very upset about leaving my home and my friends. Now, the things I value in life have drastically changed. I come out of DC excited to see the people I love at home, but sad to leave those I have met and the city in which I've lived. Truthfully, I don't really want to be home for too long, because I don't want to get into my old routine or my old way of thinking. I like the way I am now, and I can't wait to grow and change more this summer. I have no doubt that my trips to Arizona, the U.K., and especially Honduras will broaden the way I think and the way I view the world.

Since being in college, the most important thing I've learned is to always keep an open mind about every issue, despite your preconceptions or previous beliefs. This mindset has actually helped strengthen my beliefs, but also opened me up to new ideologies. Currently, I consider myself first and foremost a Christian, a feminist, a "bleeding heart liberal," but most importantly, I am me. I know that sounds incredibly trite, but it's the truth. I can't describe myself, and I don't expect anyone to be able to articulate exactly who they are either. That's the joy of living, I suppose--to find out who you are and who others are along the way.

So the next time some of you see me, I might be a very different person, but I'm sure you will be too. I'll probably have more radically liberal political views, I'll hopefully be more spiritual, and I may have dredlocks (...hehe  ). But I'm sure all of you will be changed as well, and I can't wait to get to know you again. Living is not only about finding out who you are, but about reinventing yourself once you discover the unpleasant parts of your personality. I can't wait to find more of my flaws, because then I can change.

Well, enough of this deep thinking. I'm going to chill with my MI friends now, and enjoy the summer. Hopefully my mind won't go into philosophical mode too much...

Currently Playing In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3 By Coheed & Cambria see related

I can't find words to express how I feel. I can't even find a song to express my emotions, and that is pretty rare. Maybe this is why I'm minoring in philosophy, because I just think too damn much. There's so much I want to say, but this language just isn't adequate anymore. I keep thinking about the world and all its problems, and then my mind wanders to my life, and God, and so on and so forth...my thoughts are jumbled together and I just can't articulate what's really going on in my life.

Do you ever feel like you meet certain people for a reason? I tend to believe that every interaction I have with another person is somehow significant, although some people inevitably make more of an impact on my life than others. And isn't that the essence of life, to have relationships with other people? What the hell is all this homework for anyway, but to help us learn how to interact with people, in whatever field we're going into? I know I'm rambling and not making much sense, but sometimes I just have these intuitions that certain people will play a role in my life. Maybe I'm crazy, or obsessive, but once again I have to reiterate--I can't explain what I'm feeling!! I want to cry, or laugh, or just sit and think, and think, and think...

Currently Playing Living in Clip By Ani DiFranco see related

- Napoleon

So although I have tons of work to do, I'm writing in this stupid xanga. Oh, the things one will do to procrastinate...

I know I shouldn't bring this up again, but I guess I will in general terms so as not to offend anyone, because that is not my intent. I'm slightly bothered right now with all the discrimination that goes on in our society. Yeah, I understand that sometimes this racism (or sexism, or classism, or even political stance-ism) is meant to be a joke, but don't jokes usually have a hint of truth to them? I don't think making fun of someone's race (or any of the aforementioned characteristics) is that amusing, especially when it's completely one-sided. Maybe if everyone was equally mocked based on their skin color I wouldn't feel this way, but that is not the case. There's a plethora of racist jokes directed at minorities, but how many jokes do you hear about middle-class, white, suburban Americans?

Also, I think something should be said about discrimination against people with different poltical views from one's own. This goes for people who are liberal, conservative, or anywhere in between. Personally, I don't really care what you think about taxes or the president or even abortion, as long as you're willing to listen to another point of view without mocking it. My political beliefs are important to me, but they don't define who I am. And I'm not going to discriminate against someone just because they're a Republican or a Marxist or even (God-forbid) a Communist. True, there are some conservatives I don't get along with, but that's true of even the most liberal people as well. I don't (or at least try not to) judge people based on their political beliefs, or anything else for that matter. I know I fail sometimes, but at least I'm making an effort, which is more than I can say for a lot of people in this city.

What's occuring in this society today, I believe, is systematized, unconscious discrimination. We're taught to believe certain things by our parents, the media, etc., without ever thinking for ourselves. And when we do learn to break free from this cycle of ignorance, some unconscious bigoted views still remain. Maybe they surface as jokes, or generalizations about certain ethnic enclaves. Maybe they're revealed when we're intoxicated, or on some other mind-altering substance. But they're still present, and what worries me is that many times we don't even know those views exist. Until we realize that even the most open-minded of us may need to reevaluate some of our beliefs, true equality will never be achieved.